The last two years have gone by so fast…
Tomorrow will be two years since my Mom died. January 31, 2021, seems like a lifetime ago and just like yesterday.
Although death is inevitable, I didn’t expect it. I thought my Mom would live forever. And no matter how much we prepare, I don’t think we are ever fully prepared when it happens.
I knew I’d have reminders of her, I just didn’t realize it would be the little things that would stand out:
My hands look just like hers.
Sometimes the way my sneeze sounds, it sounds just like hers (weird, yes I know!).
I hear myself saying the “parent” things to my kids that she would say to me.
I want to call her when something good happens…
and sometimes when I look at her picture I feel like she was just a dream.
I think about her often.
We didn’t have the most fantastic relationship, but she was the only Mom I had. I’ve heard people in similar situations say, “It’s too late, she’s (he’s) gone. There’s nothing I can do about it.” But through the last two years I’ve realized my Mom left a lot for me to sort through.
Through the work, I’m able to recognize my Mom for:
Her strength, instead of our differences.
How she loved me, even though it didn’t feel like love at times.
How she changed the pattern of abuse in our family, gifting me with the ability to create change within my family.
The continued lessons I receive from her…
For those of you who believe it’s too late to repair a relationship after a death, I gently encourage you to reconsider that thought. There are small steps you can take towards healing, too.
Death does not have the final say in how we heal and grow from our relationships.
We do.
As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I encourage you to reach out—if not to me, then to someone!
I believe in you,
Teresa
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