Have you heard the quote, “Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.” from Lao Tzu?
Well late last night I began to think: What, if anything, comes before the thought? Because, according to this quote, a thought is very powerful. Then, of course, the chicken and egg metaphor hatched in my mind.
Blame it on a long day of training, or late night delusions, I had to get out of bed and write it down.
I think—and feel free to share your thoughts—that before a thought, there is an emotion that sparks it.
For example: When was the last time you were talking with someone, having a great conversation, then they do or say something that changes the whole vibe? We go from laughing to mad in 2.2 seconds.
It’s like the record stops and we may not know what it was specifically, we just feel it in our body. The emotion (feeling) sparks a thought like, “Oh no he didn’t!” and it may get ugly from there.
When we begin to “watch our thoughts” we become aware of our emotions. Our emotions deserve to be identified, acknowledged, and heard.
Before completing the Grief Recovery Method, I thought I only had a range of five emotions: happy, sad, mad, rage and disappointment. But you know what? We are human, wonderfully and fearfully made, and were given such a broad range of emotions that we may not really tap into.
One of the tools that has helped so much is the Grief Recovery Emotions Chart. By using this chart to identify that feeling in our body, we can begin naming our emotions and managing our thoughts better.
Here’s an exercise that I like to share:
~Think of a specific situation that was difficult for you.
~What emotions were you feeling? Mad, sad, angry…what else? Write down as many emotions as you can think of.
~Now, look over the Grief Recovery Emotions Chart and write down other emotions that also fit with what you were feeling in that moment (try not to think too much into it. If an emotion fits, just write it down. It may not make sense at the time, but with more reflection you will be able to make the connection—call me if you need help!).
~Take some time to be with what you just discovered.
~What did you find?
~What surprised you?
When people go through this quick exercise, they uncover more than they thought. For instance, one woman I worked with said she realized that she was less mad about her situation. Another woman, well, she realized she was more mad about her situation than she thought!
We can gain so many different insights just by taking a little time with our emotions. I encourage you to use this chart as often as you need. Please feel free to reach out and share your experience!
As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I encourage you to reach out—if not to me, then to someone!
I believe in you,
Teresa
P.S. If you know someone who may benefit from this information, please do not hesitate to forward this information. Thank you!
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