We all encounter moments when we need support, whether it's personal, professional, or emotional. However, asking for help can be a daunting task for many individuals.
Why is that so?
Oftentimes we feel as if we can complete a task or face the situation on our own. Although that may be true sometimes, sometimes we do need others to get through the season.
The truth is, we all need support in different seasons of our lives.
If seeking support doesn’t come easy for you, how can you even begin to step outside your comfort zone and ask?
First, identify the barriers that may prevent you from getting support:
Self-Reliance and Pride: These are the most common barriers to asking for support! Some individuals may believe they should handle everything on their own, fearing that asking for help makes them appear weak, stupid, or incapable.
Fear of Judgment or Rejection: The fear of being judged or rejected, or how others might perceive us. Also, we worry that we may be burdening others with our problems, which can create emotional barriers to asking for help.
Lack of Awareness or Information: Sometimes we may not realize that support is available or where to look.
Cultural or Social Stigma: Cultural or social stigmas can be a major factor in the way we seek (or don’t seek) support–asking for help can be perceived as a sign of weakness, which leads individuals to avoid seeking support altogether.
Previous Negative Experiences: This one I can attest to!! Past negative experiences, such as being turned down for assistance or receiving unsupportive responses, can discourage individuals from seeking help in the future. These experiences may be even more heartbreaking than the experience we’re seeking support for!
Recognizing and processing through our own beliefs and emotional barriers can be the first step in creating a different outcome.
Next, by preparing yourself to ask for support, you can alleviate any fears, beliefs, or resistance towards your request:
Recognize the Need: Ask yourself: “How would this situation be if I had the right support?” This type of questioning involves acknowledging your limitations and understanding that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a strength.
Identify the Right Person or Resource: Once you realize the need for support, it's essential to identify the right person or resource to approach. Consider the person’s expertise, experience, and availability.
Initiate the Conversation: The most important thing is to be honest. If you don’t know, it’s ok to say, “I don’t know!” That’s the most honest answer to getting clear on what you need, want and desire.
Communicate Effectively: Do you need someone just to listen? You can say, “I just need you to listen, I don’t need advice, I just need to vent.” Or do you need guidance, assurance, or mentoring? By being open and honest, you’ll begin to uncover the problem and come up with solutions.
Now, what will you do the next time you need support, even if asking for support may not come easy for you?
As always, however you are feeling today, I want you to know that you are never alone. I encourage you to reach out—if not to me, then to someone!
I believe in you,
Teresa
P.S. How helpful was this? If you think of someone who may benefit, please do not hesitate to forward this information. Thank you!
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